LINNEA QUIGLEY BOYCOTTS RUE MORGUE
Does that mean she is a Horror Drunx now?
A Horror Drunx Exclusive
by
EL VAMPIRO
This year when Rue Morgue Magazine threw their annual "Festival Of Fannies" (or whatever they are calling it) on August 22-24 in Toronto, they were missing one celebrity scheduled to make an appearance when Linnea Quigley pulled a no-show.
Apparently the Scream Queen had come to her senses and realized the pittance RM was offering her just wasn't worth it to appear at their event, selling autographed photos from two decades ago, and putting up with slobbering Canadian Jenny Craigers who wished they were alive to see her when she was young and firm in the 1980's.
ABOVE:Young, firm and nubile... 23 years ago... In RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (1985)
Just a few days before the event, upon hearing the news that Quigley wouldn't be appearing, Rue Morgue went into damage control mode (aka one of their usual butthurt hissyfits) and removed all mention of Linnea from the advertising.
However, word from one of our unnamed insiders said "If anyone who had gone to the expense of booking a hotel room, paying for airfare, and buying an overpriced ticket to the event to see Quigley had any expectations that they were going to get any kind of partial refund, they sure didn't get it. In fact I was there when a few attendees complained and were given the brush off with a stone faced 'You could always just not enter our event at all' from Rue Morgue employees".
That would have been just fine by me, since as a Horror Drunx I know better than to give Rue Morgue a dime of my dough and I would have never bothered to attend one of their events anyway. Who wants to see red headed dye jobbed (with those long black roots) alleged sex change magazine editor throwing up the goat fingers to hail Beelzebub while trying to hide her protruding Adam's Apple for a bunch of Renfaire Rejects camera-phones anyway?
But back to our story...
Long story short, Quigley's down-under did not appear up-over and won't anytime soon. Apparently she was so opposed to appearing (as one reported quote said) at "another one of Rue Morgue's cut rate bingo hall / basketball gymnasium events" that the excuse she gave in public was that "I had not even been informed I was to appear, nor did I sign an appearance contract!".
So what's the real deal here? Did the ever shady Rue Morgue Ragazine try and pull one over on their readers, attendees, and "disciples" (aka despicables) by advertising a celebrity that they knew was not even going to show up? Could be.
But it gets even stranger...
Quigley, who was booked by a very reputable personal appearance agent that has been in the business for decades, swore that the contract signed with her signature had been forged.
We told you it was getting strange.
One finds it difficult to know who to believe, since this agent (who shall remain nameless in this article) has not only worked brokering many of her appearances for many years, but also supplies the services of many other celebrities to the horror and science-fiction convention circuit. In fact, several other guests who appeared at this convention were also booked through the same agent.
Very bizarre indeed.
After hearing news that she had publically accused the manager of forging her signature on the contract, his quote was "She is a deeply disturbed woman I'm afraid, with some severe emotional problems. Still, I want a very public written retraction from her or I am considering taking legal action against her for slander. I am also making assurances now that in the future she will not be appearing at another event in North America again if I can stop it. Convention promoters should not trust the word of a woman who would pull this stunt once and probably will again. If she does appear at any convention or event, I will be exercising the 'due to availability' clause in my contracts and pulling the rest of the guests that I supply from that event. There isn't anyone who will attend an event based on only the name recognition of that screwy has-been anyway.".
But my question is, even if a public written apology from Linnea Quigley magically appears, who can say she won't turn around and say that it is a forgery too?!
We do deliver the goods and entertain with our articles, don't we kiddies?
Gosh, Linnea. I mean thumbs up for boycotting Rue Morgue, that is a good thing, but thumbs down for agreeing to appear there in the first place (which was a dumb idea) and then waffling your way out of it with such a lame excuse. If that is indeed what happened. We are so confused. Who to believe?
Aww, crap. I just realized the reason I was given this assignment. See, The Horror Drunx try to match their article assignments to their writers. I have multiple personalities... So apparently does Linnea Quigley... And so do I and me too. Dammit.
One thing is for sure, in this case just boycotting Rue Morgue does not make you a Horror Drunx there Miss Quigley. Don't expect to be asked to be a Drunkette Of The Month any time soon either. Geesh. Even if we did, she might just turn around and say those pictures weren't of her.
And this is where we get REALLY snarky...
Now-now. Yes, you did do one viable classic with RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, but where was the follow-up? Any mid-range hotbod could have pulled off that role with the same bad wig, Barbie Doll appliance and questionable acting skills. You can't make a lasting career on one fluke film and we kind of resent you for having tried.
Not that some of us didn't learn how to use the slow-mo button on the remote with our left hand anyway, fellas are kinda funny like that sometimes. All that aside, it looks like you won't be doing any award winning parts or great films anytime soon (what is with that soft-core crap for the last several years?) and with these new developments, you'd best say goodbye to your income from selling signed photos from that one film, since we don't think you'll be appearing at many events in the future. I guess it's time to buy that Volvo and become a soccer mom.
ABOVE: Horror Drunx Florida chapter leader Conrad and a Kookie Socker Mom
And shame-shame on you Rue Morgue for treating people in the Horror community like idiot sheep that are below you, yet once again. We haven't forgotten the time Joe-Manka Tuckadic announced that her mag would be publishing Maila Nurmi's last ever interview in the same breath that she announced to the world that Maila had died. Tacky, you flooze, real tacky. Time to put down the Peruvian goose step powder you get from your supremacist buddies, eh? We hear the Mounties don't like that kind of snow.
"My name is EL VAMPIRO and I am a Horror Drunx, and so am I, and me too"
EL VAMPIRO
Transylvania, Mexico
October 1, 2008
What a bunch of pretentious snobs. No wonder the Canadian government is
now funding them.
