THE HORROR DRUNX REVIEW
THE EXORCIST 2: THE HEREITIC
A Horror Drunx exclusive DVD review
by
Joe State
WARNING: THIS IS MORE OF A SYNOPSIS THAN A REVIEW AND CONTAINS SPOILERS!
The Exorcist 2: the Heretic. What can I say? It will never live up to the first one. I had to try
and disassociate this movie with the first one as much as possible, however that is almost impossible, since this one is the only other exorcist starring
Linda Blair and has her playing the same character, just 5 years older. My favorite thing about this movie is, Linda Blair is legal this time, so you
don't have to feel bad about wanting to fuck her. Plus she's had a fantastic addition of some "dirty pillows" and a fat ass at that.
We start off with a priest stepping into a small Latin.... hut, for the lack of whatever the fuck call it, it is a hut. Anyway, a bunch of people are huddled around this teenage girl who is freaking out, but nothing serious you know? She's pretty tame for someone who's possessed if you ask me, but she get's splashed with some holy water and then she goes pretty nuts and sets herself ablaze. Nice beginning I guess. This is followed by Regan tap dancing in short shorts, even better.
Soon after we are introduced to our hero, the priest. He meets up with a hypnotist at the institute for retarded kids who is working with Regan on forgetting about the possession (even though she denies that she remembers). She is being haunted by dreams that are reminding her about it. Naturally the hypnotist puts her in a state of relaxation and combines their minds together through some machine that looks like they just strapped a few metal studs on a belt and wrapped it around their heads, then connected the 2 belts with some wire, pretty janky if you ask me, so she can find out about Regan's past, nearly getting her own ass killed by demonic heart attack while she's at it.
Here is where it gets interesting, we finally get to take part in one of Regan's dreams, she gets snatched up by the demon and has to fly out to Africa to check out some plague shit, a plague of locusts to be exact. Where we find out our beloved hero priest happened to be present at the time of this plague taking candid snapshots here and there. Like a bunch of fucking locusts eating some crops is a breakthrough in religious science or something... been there, done that! He must have never read the bible.
A bunch of boring crap happens. More locusts, apparently they're good spies because there are two scenes of the priest being spied on by locusts. Turns out the evil demon who is doing all of the possessing is Pazuzu, "king of the evil spirits of the air" (locusts, and dust storms apparently). A boy in charge of the African tribe always attacked by the locusts is possessed by Pazuzu, they find out that pazuzu is still alive and the priest becomes obsessed with demon obliteration. Poor demons.
Our beloved priest is dismissed from the church after asking to persue the demon that he knows still exists and heads to Africa on his own time. He talks to the African priest and shows everyone where the African boy died, naturally he is accused of being a devil worshipper. You can all guess what follows after the accusations..... A STONING!!! they throw some stones at the priest and it seems to be fucking up Regan at the same time. She falls down off of a stage while tap dancing in front of a large crowd, acting as if she was being struck by the stones, UH OH!
After an impromptu synch between the priest and Regan with the belt machine, our favorite holy man becomes possessed and takes Regan back to her house from the original exorcist. Once they arrive they are barraged by a swarm of locusts from the room. Meanwhile Regan's mother and her assistant are racing to save Regan from the priest. Regan steps into her old room only to confront a mirror image of herself from when she was possessed.
Evil possessed Regan seduces the priest and gets her to attack regular normal Regan. WOMEN! Little Regan channels the possessed latina girl from the beginning and asks "por que?" which makes him snap out of his trance and attack the evil Pazuzu Regan (I'd do her). Meanwhile outside Sharon the assistant is also in a trance and sets herself ablaze using a light bulb to detonate a gas leak. Cool! 2 people burnt alive! Our battle rages on upstairs in the house when all of a sudden a swarm of locusts tough enough to break the brick house into pieces hovers around our battle between good and evil. Our hero priest rips the heart out of "please fuck me, Joe STATE" Regan and a weird flashback makes good Regan an African boy.
Now that I've ruined the whole movie for you, I'll let you know that it's worth a watch, it's more interesting than watching nothing! In fact, I'm going to have to say I like it, as long as you're not expecting it to be as good as the original. If you haven't seen this movie, haha, I just ruined it for you!
We start off with a priest stepping into a small Latin.... hut, for the lack of whatever the fuck call it, it is a hut. Anyway, a bunch of people are huddled around this teenage girl who is freaking out, but nothing serious you know? She's pretty tame for someone who's possessed if you ask me, but she get's splashed with some holy water and then she goes pretty nuts and sets herself ablaze. Nice beginning I guess. This is followed by Regan tap dancing in short shorts, even better.
Soon after we are introduced to our hero, the priest. He meets up with a hypnotist at the institute for retarded kids who is working with Regan on forgetting about the possession (even though she denies that she remembers). She is being haunted by dreams that are reminding her about it. Naturally the hypnotist puts her in a state of relaxation and combines their minds together through some machine that looks like they just strapped a few metal studs on a belt and wrapped it around their heads, then connected the 2 belts with some wire, pretty janky if you ask me, so she can find out about Regan's past, nearly getting her own ass killed by demonic heart attack while she's at it.
Here is where it gets interesting, we finally get to take part in one of Regan's dreams, she gets snatched up by the demon and has to fly out to Africa to check out some plague shit, a plague of locusts to be exact. Where we find out our beloved hero priest happened to be present at the time of this plague taking candid snapshots here and there. Like a bunch of fucking locusts eating some crops is a breakthrough in religious science or something... been there, done that! He must have never read the bible.
A bunch of boring crap happens. More locusts, apparently they're good spies because there are two scenes of the priest being spied on by locusts. Turns out the evil demon who is doing all of the possessing is Pazuzu, "king of the evil spirits of the air" (locusts, and dust storms apparently). A boy in charge of the African tribe always attacked by the locusts is possessed by Pazuzu, they find out that pazuzu is still alive and the priest becomes obsessed with demon obliteration. Poor demons.
Our beloved priest is dismissed from the church after asking to persue the demon that he knows still exists and heads to Africa on his own time. He talks to the African priest and shows everyone where the African boy died, naturally he is accused of being a devil worshipper. You can all guess what follows after the accusations..... A STONING!!! they throw some stones at the priest and it seems to be fucking up Regan at the same time. She falls down off of a stage while tap dancing in front of a large crowd, acting as if she was being struck by the stones, UH OH!
After an impromptu synch between the priest and Regan with the belt machine, our favorite holy man becomes possessed and takes Regan back to her house from the original exorcist. Once they arrive they are barraged by a swarm of locusts from the room. Meanwhile Regan's mother and her assistant are racing to save Regan from the priest. Regan steps into her old room only to confront a mirror image of herself from when she was possessed.
Evil possessed Regan seduces the priest and gets her to attack regular normal Regan. WOMEN! Little Regan channels the possessed latina girl from the beginning and asks "por que?" which makes him snap out of his trance and attack the evil Pazuzu Regan (I'd do her). Meanwhile outside Sharon the assistant is also in a trance and sets herself ablaze using a light bulb to detonate a gas leak. Cool! 2 people burnt alive! Our battle rages on upstairs in the house when all of a sudden a swarm of locusts tough enough to break the brick house into pieces hovers around our battle between good and evil. Our hero priest rips the heart out of "please fuck me, Joe STATE" Regan and a weird flashback makes good Regan an African boy.
Now that I've ruined the whole movie for you, I'll let you know that it's worth a watch, it's more interesting than watching nothing! In fact, I'm going to have to say I like it, as long as you're not expecting it to be as good as the original. If you haven't seen this movie, haha, I just ruined it for you!
"My name is Joe State and I am a Horror Drunx"
Joe State
Oregon Horror Drunx Chapter
October 1, 2008
