TROMA: THE BOTTOM FEEDERS OF HORROR
A Horror Drunx Exclusive article
by
Kate Von Spooky
Troma and Lloyd Kaufmann suck. It is that plain and simple.
Recently on several different occasions, I've spoken one on one with several of the other writers here at www.TheHorrorDrunx.com as well as a few of The Horror Drunx chapter leaders here and abroad. As part of the conversation asked each the same two questions...
1. "What movies have you actually walked out on after paying to see them in a movie theater?"
and
2. "What movies would you never-ever pay to rent under any circumstances?"
Now this was a blind test, no one knew I had asked anyone else. But the answers were no surprise to me, because most of the HD folks are pretty discriminating in their filmic tastes. They were exactly the answers I'd expected. Nearly ALL of them named Troma titles as the worst and most idiotic crap out there..
Why? Because they are stupid and insult the viewers intelligence, and if you hadn't realized that already you are exactly the lowest common denominator that are in Troma owner Lloyd Kaufman's target audience.
What is so unforgivable here is that if someone is going to make a movie, which is a daunting task in itself, why not at least make an attempt to make a GOOD movie? Or at least attempt to make one that has an original and somewhat smart approach? The cost would be THE SAME. Instead, Troma films set out to make complete crap. They fill it with gratuitous nudity, bad humor, and gross-outs. That is the audience they pander to, which instead of elevating the already much maligned horror genre, pushes it farther down into the dirt.
Lloyd Kaufman is a phony that is no friend of horror. Though he invented the "Uncle Lloyd" persona, he's nobodies kindly Uncle unless he thinks there is a buck to be made from them. Sure, then he'll make believe he is your best buddy. But c'mon, lets see things for what they really are here.
While Kaufman and his Troma cronies pass themselves off as the modern answer to Roger Corman's American International Pictures, at least Corman usually tried to play square with the audiences on his meager budgets. The Edgar Allen Poe film series and many others are a testament to that. When he tried to play it dumb, at least he did it in a smart way, with films like the original "Little Shop Of Horrors" and "Bucket Of Blood" (which became classics in their own rights) and with respected actors like Boris Karloff, Vincent Price, Peter Lorre and others. Corman discovered and gave breaks to many talents in front of and behind the camera too. A.I.P. and later New World Pictures were a great proving ground and a school where many of todays largest talents sharpened their skills. And in the mean time they created some great and now classic films.
What movies of Troma and Lloyd Kaufman will become classics? None. But then again, they don't aspire to, they are just a means to an end for Kaufman to make a fast buck.
I know what you are thinking. What about Ed Wood films? His movies were mostly awful and THEY became classic, didn't they? To that my answer is "absolutely"! But the big difference here is that Ed Wood (and many other film makers like him) loved the Horror genre. Wood never set out to make bad movies, in fact all things point toward him wanting to make good ones. However serious he was about this, his talent / budget and good sense are what failed him. Not the case with Kaufman and Troma, who only set out to make something exploitable that they can turn a fast buck on.
As for the cast and crew of Troma movies, as long as people will work for free or for next to nothing in front of and behind Kaufman's cameras, he'll exploit them... And what kind of people let themselves be exploited that way? The talentless or near talentless that can't be hired anyplace else. The lure of seeing their names on screen for substandard work. Sounds just like a movie I'd want to see, huh?.
With asinine story ideas and near nonexistent plots like "Poultryguiest" and "Clown Dad" is it any wonder that THIS viewer has not paid a dime to see a Troma movie since the days of "The Toxic Avenger: Part 2" and "Return Of The Killer Tomatoes"? Both of those I friggin walked out of the theater on, and that was when they were released first-run in theaters HOW long ago? Troma hasn't gotten any better as film makers in the decades since then either, only worse.
If Lloyd Kaufman had any film making or story talents I might be telling a different story here, but in the last 30 or so years I guess he's figured why make a good movie? There are apparently a percentage of stoned morons whose pockets he can pick without bothering to make a good movie. Hey kiddies, come down and meet Uncle Lloyd at the Troma Roadshow Tour! Just bring your wallet.
Again, it would cost the same amount to make a half decent and original film as it does to make one of his piece of crap movies. (Note my differentiation between "Films" and "Movies" here)
Troma owner Kaufman shows absolutely no respect for the movie going public, so why should they show him any in return? There are too many GOOD independent and serious film makers out there that DO deserve our respect.
Boycott bad, dumb horror. Boycott horror that insults your intelligence. Boycott Troma.
"My name is Kate Von Spooky and I am a Horror Drunx"
Kate Von Spooky
Providence, Rhode Island
February 2009
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