The Horror Drunx review
by
Jason Grove
Yep, yet another remake.
I remember back to the days when Universal Pictures was a proud name, a real studio that had some prestige and was proud of its product. They laboriously developed fresh new stories and set the trends in the motion-picture industry. They would never have thought of picking up the rights to some film made by a lower rung poverty row, cheapo film company like PRC or even Republic. That was below them. Well, those proud days seem to be long gone and Universal seemingly has no pride or respectability anymore.
Having crapped all over their own classic Universal Monsters crown jewels with VAN HELSING and the horrible new MUMMY series (don't worry, they will be getting to THE WOLF MAN and THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON soon) they then picked up franchises from smaller companies and pooped all over them too... TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, THE HILLS HAVE EYES, HALLOWEEN, ad nauseam. Now Universal has lowered itself several more rungs into the gutter and have set their sights on Ape Raping then casting aside one of the shining gems from the vintage New World Pictures catalogue, the brilliant and satirical 1975 action film DEATH RACE 2000.
(Hahaha "Ape Raping". I'm still chuckling at that one. Gimmie a minute. whew... BAHAHAHAHAHA! That mental picture just reminds me of a monkey trying to screw a football or something. Ever seen that? Hilarious! Which then gives me the mental picture of some young doughy moneygrubbing Universal executive trying to fasttrack his first million by pushing a bunch of remakes through the studio development pipeline and like a monkey trying to screw a football having no idea how to handle them or how to get the job done right and just ridiculously making a mess of things and screwing them needlessly. Alright, I'm pissed again. Let's continue.)
Roger Corman has said that the original film was the highest grossing film New World ever released. Based on a short story by Ib Melchior who wrote such films as THE TIME TRAVELERS (1964), ROBINSON CRUSOE ON MARS (1964), JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET (1961), THE ANGRY RED PLANET (1960), REPTILICUS (1961), PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES (1965) and many others, including TV credits from the original OUTER LIMITS.
DEATH RACE 2000 produced by Roger Corman and directed by Paul Bartel (Eating Raoul, Lust In The Dust) starred David "Hey wasn't your dad Dracula once?" Carridine, Sylvester "Maybe you'll grow up to be Rambo someday" Stallone and Mary "Nice ass principal Togar" Waronov along with several other familiar faces from the New World and A.I.P. campus.
The plot concerned a futuristic Trans-continental road race where its colorful drivers (almost part rock stars and part sports heroes) race from coast to coast picking up additional points by running over pedestrians. It was equal parts science-fiction, action, sardonic satire and race movie, which all hooked up and meshed together into one of the most enjoyable low budgeters of the 1970's.
ORIGINAL CARS: COOL (Made by George Barris, owner of the Munsters Koach and the builder of the original Batmobile)
REMAKE CAR: CACA (let's glue a bunch of plastic crap on a Mustang
The thing is, in changing and updating the story... A major fault in all remakes... It is coming off as more of an unoriginal rip-off of the films THE RUNNING MAN and ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK with a little MAX MAX thrown in, a thousand rip-offs of those movies had been filmed by the early 90's. Worse than that, this movie is looking like a watered down swipe of the video games TWISTED METAL and CARMAGGEDON (itself a swipe of Death Race 2000).
Alright, one thing that I have to admit always bothered me about the original 1975 film is that THE DEATH RACE was a huge popular event and was the new national sport, being greatly advertised and televised, right? If you didn't want to be one of the unlucky pedestrians that became roadkill, all you had to do was stay off the streets and maybe in your house for a weekend or so until it was over.
I propose that should be our answer too. We need to do the same thing with this new over advertised remake called DEATH RACE... If you don't want to become a victim, stay in the safety of your house for opening weekend and stay away from the theaters. Instead, order a pizza and have Netflix deliver the original DEATH RACE 2000. You will be glad you did and won't become one of the ticket buying casualties. BOYCOTT REMAKES.
I RATE THIS REMAKE: CACA
Copyright 2008 The Horror Drunx and the Author. This article is original content created EXCLUSIVELY for The Horror Drunx. The information contained in exclusive articles may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Horror Drunx.
